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Realizations etc
  Cooper83, Aug 11 2009

I've come to the conclusion that I don't have the right personality to play this game in the quantities necessary to make a living. My bankroll is still the majority intact, however, my desire to play and my ability to handle bad beats have both massively declined the more I play. This really slaughters anyones win rate, most sessions I'd get to a point where I was up around 3 buyins. At which point a suckout/setup would occur which is fairly standard and I'd lose a mid/large pot. At which point lately I've proceeded to played like horrendous shit and give away another buyin or two turning what should be about a two buyin win into a very marginal win. Do this for 4-5 days and make probably slightly over 1 buyin, then like any normal poker player you have a day where you lose 2-3 buyins because the cards don't fall your way and instead of still posting a fairly decent win for the week/month I'm now down. This is my largest leak by far and IMO it's 100% mindset.

I'm still playing the same games I crushed when I had a job and played when I felt like it for fun and extra spending cash or grind a BR to stakes high enough to have a lot of fun with or retire early. Now I get crushed, so what's the plan. Well for starters I think because of the limits I play stars is a horrid site to play on. I'm basically forced to mass grind to get a shitty RB then fulltilt so if or when I decide to start playing recreationally again and start regrinding a roll I'll be doing it there until atleast 200nl if I every reach that point. Right now I'm just gonna enjoy like without poker and the stresses that come with it. I have about 40-45k fpps sitting on stars and I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do with them. Suggestions are welcome atm I'm thinking maybe PS3 although I don't really play consoles very much. Best of luck at the tables, oh and I still plan on playing sMi poker night when it goes Brett so just let me know.





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Random
  Cooper83, Aug 04 2009

Poker's going ok, lifes ok, I staked Shad which was on awesome investment got my stake back plus the arranged agreement in 4 days. Finished the month running bad and playing worse so I took the last 5 days off and just chilled with the girlfriend. Got back into it today and had a good day, I've also started playing around with the 8-game tables. From what I've seen these could be very profitable but who knows maybe I'm running good. Anyway hopefully this month I recover from my poor showing in July, I'm also considering moving from stars to FTP for rakeback. If anyone could tell me if it's worth it currently at 50nl logging about 50k hands a month. I may make SN in a month or two, but I'd have to mass grind and I'm not sure if it's worth it. Anyway good luck at the tables and Brett sMi poker night lets go!



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July
  Cooper83, Jul 31 2009

Well here were the goals

[x]60k hands
[]BR of $3500
[]Short term shots at 100nl
[]find a good job
[x]finish moving back into my parents place.....fuck my life



Well I played enough and had a month I would like to forget, I did make a marginal profit with the rakeback and such but overall I'm pretty disappointed. To much mass tabling to meet the hand goal for the month but on the upside I know I'm capable of mass grinding if needed, the only issue is variance can be a bitch if you run bad in flips or get setup a couple times it can lead to some very bad days. Obviously didn't make the bankroll goal and without that I didn't take shots at 100nl which I guess is a good thing. Atleast I stayed within my bankroll and didn't tilt like crazy. I also failed at getting a good job, I applied for many and got interviews for most. The problem is anything I want to do I don't have enough experience and anything I don't really wanna do but pays well I'm overqualified for. And the final goal of finish moving, yeah well that happened. 26 unemployed and living with the parents.........again. I really could afford to live on my own, but I don't wanna sign a lease then find a good job and have to pay rent in two places. Also it just doesn't make sense for me to do it if my parents are ok with me living at their place and aren't going to charge me anything. So basically I'll be giving up a ton of privacy to save up a ton of money. I'm hoping that this will hopefully help me progress in poker as well as put me in a good position to buy a house soon after I settle in somewhere once I have a job.



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